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From social smoker to regular smoker


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Old 05-20-2020, 06:30 PM
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Default From social smoker to regular smoker

I am new here and so I would introduce you to my situation:

My mom quit before I was born, dad used to smoke, but I don't know if he's a smoker now, as he doesn't live with us. I was obsessed with smoking since I was little. I went back in books and movies to parts where characters smoked, but I never wanted to try it as I was influenced by my mom who is a huge anti now. When I went to hs, I met people my age who smoked. I'm from czechia and rules about smoking aren't as strict. Every 20 minute break students would gather in front of school and smoked (art school=everyone's a smoker), but as I'm shy and had social anxiety I struggled with introducing change to my surroundings in any aspect of my life.

On a school trip (I was 15) I sneaked out at night, stole 2 cigarettes from a friend (I know shi*tty) and liked it. Next time I smoked was few months later and I kind off started smoking a little socially when alcohol was included. I was bumming cigarettes and it went on for some time. I wouldn't buy my own pack, because that would mean I intended to smoke, which I told myself wasn't the case. At 17 I started going out more. Originally it was: I smoke when I'm really drunk. Then it was smoking whenever I drink anything (that was often). Sometimes we bought a pack with a friend. The summer after hs I started hanging out more with my smoker friends (just turned 19). I went weeks without smoking, but then smoked half a pack per one gathering.

During all this time I was a "social smoker". Then I went to college in different city and introduced myself as a non smoker and even when I was drinking I didn't smoke. But I was always excited to go home, not because of smoking, but me and my friends got really into weed, techno and this whole culture. Our nights were based around dancing really "full on" and then stepping out and chaining a few. At this time I started buying my own packs just for parties, but I acted as I didn't even want them and was really generous, so the next morning I didn't have any left. I was always nervous about going home, that my mom would smell it. It used to be easy when there was smoking allowed in bars, because I would smell even when I didn't smoke, but now I'm super sneaky.

Since the end of 2019 I've been smoking weed a lot and it became impossible to hide, so my mom knows (not the amount). So when I smelled of tobacco I blamed it on weed. I convinced my mom, that weed is just for pleasure like a glass of wine, but with smoking... she'd kill me. I have some money, but I'm still dependent on her with bigger payments and I know she would completely cut me off financially and we're really close and I'd hate to disapoint her. But I think she has suspicion or doesn't want to know.

Quarantine started and I moved back home for some time. I hang out with friends (rules in my country may be different than in the us so don't hate me) that smoke and sometimes I smoked with them when they offered, but because these gatherings weren't parties, it wasn't my thing to buy cigarettes, but when I saw them I wanted to. So I bought a pack, saying to myself it was just to have tobacco to roll a joint, but I just wanted to smoke with them. The other day we went out and I smoked maybe 5 cigarettes and since then I'm obsessed with it, but I think it was in my head for a while. Always in the evening I keep thinking how can I sneak out in the morning, but mom would notice and in the morning I don't really want to smoke, but then it hits me again in the evening, but I don't smoke.

I feel my body screams for the transition into regular smoker, but I can't be, cause a) I'm insecure it's annoying b) i live with mom rn and there's no way in hell. I thought I was doing well because bunch of my friends turned from social smokers into regular ones as I was still just smoking socially, but I feel like now it's catching up on me, cause I've been smoking socially for more than 3,5 years now (uff) and addiction is creeping up even if I don't smoke daily and I don't really know how to deal with it.
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Old 05-21-2020, 09:22 AM
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Hmm interesting situation. You are an adult so maybe just have a conversation with your mom and tell her that youíre a smoker and youíre old enough to make your own decision to smoke or just keep trying to hide it. Iím in a situation where I cannot smoke at home either and I know itís very difficult.
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Old 05-21-2020, 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Karla00 View Post
I am new here and so I would introduce you to my situation:

My mom quit before I was born, dad used to smoke, but I don't know if he's a smoker now, as he doesn't live with us. I was obsessed with smoking since I was little. I went back in books and movies to parts where characters smoked, but I never wanted to try it as I was influenced by my mom who is a huge anti now. When I went to hs, I met people my age who smoked. I'm from czechia and rules about smoking aren't as strict. Every 20 minute break students would gather in front of school and smoked (art school=everyone's a smoker), but as I'm shy and had social anxiety I struggled with introducing change to my surroundings in any aspect of my life.

On a school trip (I was 15) I sneaked out at night, stole 2 cigarettes from a friend (I know shi*tty) and liked it. Next time I smoked was few months later and I kind off started smoking a little socially when alcohol was included. I was bumming cigarettes and it went on for some time. I wouldn't buy my own pack, because that would mean I intended to smoke, which I told myself wasn't the case. At 17 I started going out more. Originally it was: I smoke when I'm really drunk. Then it was smoking whenever I drink anything (that was often). Sometimes we bought a pack with a friend. The summer after hs I started hanging out more with my smoker friends (just turned 19). I went weeks without smoking, but then smoked half a pack per one gathering.

During all this time I was a "social smoker". Then I went to college in different city and introduced myself as a non smoker and even when I was drinking I didn't smoke. But I was always excited to go home, not because of smoking, but me and my friends got really into weed, techno and this whole culture. Our nights were based around dancing really "full on" and then stepping out and chaining a few. At this time I started buying my own packs just for parties, but I acted as I didn't even want them and was really generous, so the next morning I didn't have any left. I was always nervous about going home, that my mom would smell it. It used to be easy when there was smoking allowed in bars, because I would smell even when I didn't smoke, but now I'm super sneaky.

Since the end of 2019 I've been smoking weed a lot and it became impossible to hide, so my mom knows (not the amount). So when I smelled of tobacco I blamed it on weed. I convinced my mom, that weed is just for pleasure like a glass of wine, but with smoking... she'd kill me. I have some money, but I'm still dependent on her with bigger payments and I know she would completely cut me off financially and we're really close and I'd hate to disapoint her. But I think she has suspicion or doesn't want to know.

Quarantine started and I moved back home for some time. I hang out with friends (rules in my country may be different than in the us so don't hate me) that smoke and sometimes I smoked with them when they offered, but because these gatherings weren't parties, it wasn't my thing to buy cigarettes, but when I saw them I wanted to. So I bought a pack, saying to myself it was just to have tobacco to roll a joint, but I just wanted to smoke with them. The other day we went out and I smoked maybe 5 cigarettes and since then I'm obsessed with it, but I think it was in my head for a while. Always in the evening I keep thinking how can I sneak out in the morning, but mom would notice and in the morning I don't really want to smoke, but then it hits me again in the evening, but I don't smoke.

I feel my body screams for the transition into regular smoker, but I can't be, cause a) I'm insecure it's annoying b) i live with mom rn and there's no way in hell. I thought I was doing well because bunch of my friends turned from social smokers into regular ones as I was still just smoking socially, but I feel like now it's catching up on me, cause I've been smoking socially for more than 3,5 years now (uff) and addiction is creeping up even if I don't smoke daily and I don't really know how to deal with it.
A lot of new smokers who post on this site fear what family and friends will say and many are surprised that it turns out not to be such a big deal. Even though you do not yet fully identify with being a smoker it sounds as though you are already hooked. You'll be much better off to accept what was probably inevitable - most social smokers become regular smokers with time. I started off smoking just a couple of cigarettes a day but over time that increased and now around 15 a day. It takes a huge amount of willpower to manage this habit and there is something really enjoyable and satisfying to give in to the urge and smoke whenever you want.
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Old 05-21-2020, 10:53 PM
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Chances are your mom knows you smoke.If you are 18 or older then it's your decision and you'll have to talk to your mom about having a designated area outside the house to smoke.
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Old 05-23-2020, 01:01 PM
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They may already accept it and just are waiting for you to admit it and most of the time, as much as someone thinks they are hiding it, people already know - they've been told or seen you from a distance smoking.
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Old Today, 03:51 AM
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Ahoj,

how is it going? I can totally relate to your feelings and thoughts as i'm in that state for a few years too. The czech lockdown rules are/were really pretty strict which doesn't make it easier. Hope that'll change soon.

Dobry den
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