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Curious Current Non-smoker

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Old 01-11-2020, 01:43 PM
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Default Curious Current Non-smoker

Hey everyone,

I found this site after searching around online some time ago.
I am 26 years old and have been raised in a family that has 0 smokers - both immediate and extended.
Despite this, I seem to have some intense attraction to it. I remember as a child, I would watch my dad's employees that smoked. I would pretend to smoke with sticks in the yard or use plastic straws cut to the length of cigarettes. I would have an "ash tray" and cut them shorter as I was "smoking."

For some reason, the attraction has really grown and several months back before I turned 26, I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked about 4. I liked it.
But... I am very concerned about my health, family reaction, etc.
After that first instance, I think I told myself I wouldn't do it again. That lasted several weeks, but I was back. Bought another pack, smoked 1-2 and then tossed it. That cycle has occurred about 6-7 times.
I am currently going through it now, fighting the urge to go pick some up and have a smoke.

Like I said, my parents are not smokers so I don't know where the urge came from.
They would really not approve. Part of me doesn't approve.
But part of me wants to be a smoker. It's very hard to describe the feelings I have and how to move beyond this.

Does this resonate with anyone? Especially someone who was very anti and started at a late age?
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Old 01-11-2020, 05:13 PM
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Hi there,

Yes it does resonate with me, and I finally gave in to the urge seven years ago and became a regular smoker. Iíd experimented many times but had blueberry smoked on consecutive days. The itch came out of nowhere, and I decided that time had come to find out what it was like to be a smoker.

Only you can weigh the pros versus the cons but I can tell you that the pros have far exceeded my expectations and that I have no regrets starting. It was great to finally satisfy the itch and to no longer deny myself something that I guess I basically knew I wanted to do. As youíll read in many of the posts on this site, smoking is really enjoyable. Since you enjoyed smoking just the odd cigarette here and there you would most likely find a regular habit to be pretty amazing!

I started by smoking two or three a day. By the time Iíd got through the first pack I wasnít having cravings, but about two weeks later I found myself buying a second pack - something Iíd vowed not to do. So basically one pack will probably be enough to get you on the road.

Good luck in whatever you decide. Iíd be happy to answer any questions.
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Old 01-11-2020, 07:08 PM
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I was basically exactly like you a few months ago. Very anti and none of my parents smoked. Now, Iím happily smoking camel crushes/American spirits and I love every second of it. Thereís just a feeling of relaxation and satisfying that itch that comes with lighting up. I remember early on in college I would go where all the smokers were and just breathe in their second hand smoke because it smelt amazing. Safe to say that not only am I addicted for life but that I enjoy this so much and will never stop.

Buy a pack of cigarettes and keep it. Smoke one a day and then when you start craving more cigs, just smoke more and youíll get addicted in no time. Sit back and relax, smoking is supposed to feel good and donít worry about the health effects.
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Old 01-12-2020, 06:33 AM
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You’re 26 if you want to smoke do it. You don’t need nor should anyone’s approval matter. They’ll either accept it or not, the world will move on.

With that said, I would say you are hardly on your way to being a smoker. A few every now and then is not like you are buying cartons and chainsmoking. The only thing that matters is if you enjoy it, are you good with the level you are smoking or do you feel the need for more?
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Old 01-12-2020, 11:35 AM
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There is nothing wrong being 26 and starting to smoke. All your doing is wasting money when you buy a pack and toss them after smoking a few. And for what? you already are starting to enjoy the feeling. Your going to smoke again its obvious.

That desire to smoke more and more is normal. You have every right to smoke people will very quickly get used you smoking as you wish.
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Old 01-13-2020, 10:54 AM
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Default Closet Smoker

I was the same way back when. I was a jock, but loved to smoke VS120s. More of a feminine smoke, and I'm not the least bit feminine. Couple that with the muscular jock factor, and I just didn't want to deal with the questions. I just decided to hide it from everyone, and have successfully done so for years. It actually keeps the number of cigarettes I smoke way down. I have to really be away from the people I know and the area I live to have more than 8 a day. I truthfully like being in the closet, or you can just come out and tell others they can deal with it.

People smoke, and it is legal. If a smoker does so respectively with non-smokers, then there is no problem.
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Old 01-14-2020, 10:38 AM
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Thanks for the replies.

I have not acted on this current desire. But I have come very close over the last few days. One of my brothers lives at my house right now while he is finishing up his last 2 years of college. I've found myself thinking about/planning/waiting until he is gone so I could maybe smoke. But I have not acted on any of those times.
I think deep down I'm very scared of addiction and the toll on my health. I have at times been very depressed and even sad in my life... but I do love living - if that makes any sense.
These thoughts are very hard to deal with for me, because they are incompatible it seems - for me to long to be a smoker, but hate what it would do to me.
Sorry if I am rambling and this doesn't make much sense.
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Old 01-14-2020, 11:50 AM
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Just smoke - As you get more and more used to it you’ll start to have cravings which become intensely pleasurable to satisfy- With cravings you stop worrying about any potential health concerns, nicotine will powerfully diminish those thoughts- Trust me, as smoking satisfaction begins to intensify, you need to just let go, relax and let yourself enjoy it- You’ll see, you won’t even think about health issues because it will become a non-issue.
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Old 01-14-2020, 03:30 PM
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Default I agree with the others

jbg . . . . .

I agree with the others on the forum. If you've had an unmistakable attraction to smoking and wanting to experiment, just like the others here have stated, I say "go for it!" What is the harm in experimenting? You may find that you don't like the flavor/taste or feeling of a nicotine buzz, just chalk it up to experimenting and move on (to something else you find appealing). There is no need to procrastinate something that you are attracted to and your heart desires to try! I was attracted to smoking right from the start and couldn't wait to start, opening myself up to the enjoyment I found in cigarettes. You certainly won't find pleasure from smoking one or two cigarettes, and then throwing out the pack (which I'm sure you'll agree is a waste of $$$$$)

I would never force or persuade another individual to start smoking - its a choice they have to make. I can describe the benefits I receive from smoking but its really up to that person whether or not they WANT to smoke.

I don't know if the times you've tried a cigarette you were able to experience the feelings and enjoyment a cigarette can offer you - have you? Probably not with only one or two. I suggest you try at least an entire pack before deciding. If you find that the pleasure you gain from smoking outweighs the negative aspects of it (and you can get over whatever else is preventing you from letting loose to smoke on a regular basis, ie, parents, friends, coworkers who may be surprised that you've picked up smoking, the health issues, etc.), I believe you'd be pleasantly surprised!

If, over a couple of weeks you pursue smoking daily (even with a minimum number of cigarettes, say 10 to 12 per day), you'll find that there are real benefits from smoking over the course of two weeks. You'll feel the smoke as your lungs fill, the smoke swirling around inside, being absorbed and transported to every part of your body, warming your soul and filling you with an overall sense of calm, enjoyment and pleasure, the effects will be amazing - if there weren't, none of us would continue to smoke. And when one is craving a cigarette after being unable to smoke, the smoke from that first cigarette, satisfying those intense cravings is an awesome, indescribable feeling!

As JW says, just relax, enjoy yourself and let the cigarette do what its designed to do . . . . offering you intense pleasure, enjoyment satisfaction - but it will take some time and perseverance. I assure you there is nothing else quite like it! I guarantee!

Perhaps, if you experimented with a different brand, that may offer you a different perspective and you may find more appealing. If you've tried a Marlboro Red, perhaps trying another brand will may provide you with that 'extra' push? Perhaps a menthol cigarette would taste and feel different to you than a regular cigarette. As I'm sure you're aware, there are hundreds of brands to choose from, all with their distinctive flavors and appeal.

Whatever you decide, it is definitely your choice to decide whether or not to smoke. Sure, others may be disappointed in your choice to take up smoking but they usually will get over it (eventually). As for the health risks, there are risks we take every single day! Whether its climbing a ladder, walking across the street, etc., they all have potential risks. The key word is 'potential.' In my case, the benefits I get from lighting up and smoking outweigh the POTENTIAL health risks I MAY face (again, the key word is 'may'). Sure, I cannot deny that I may have a higher probability of health issues in the future but just because I smoke doesn't mean that I may develop some type of health issues. Life is much to short to worry yourself like that (in my opinion). You too may find that the benefits of smoking will be a benefit to you in other ways. But again, the choice is yours - the decision is yours to make.

Make that decision that is based on your self needs, wants, desires and satisfaction and not that of others. You'll be a better, happier person for it!

Best of luck - let us know what decision you make - and - you're willing to share!
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Old 01-14-2020, 04:27 PM
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I hear what all of y'all are saying...
And yes, life is short and should be enjoyed doing things we like.
But how do you all get passed the nagging cough I am sure comes and the shortness of breath and all. That stuff scares me, like it is going to hinder my lifestyle. How does enjoying life but also handicapping yourself to an extent check out?
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