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My 10 yr old son


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Old 12-14-2019, 11:09 AM
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Default My 10 yr old son

This morning while my wife is out shopping with her mom aunts and sister in law my 10yr old son comes to me as I am catching up on some emails while a Christmas movie provides background noise. The Saturday morning routine is the ladies get together while the men (son and myself) do some yard work and such. Anyways as I'm finishing up an email for a client with a Red dangling my son walks into the family room and sits down makes a comment about my ash getting long and as i flick it he says "I think you are the coolest dad". My initial thought was "what the hell did you break or do?" but I just said "oh you do?" he then asks some questions about how it tastes and how it feels. The next question got me "Dad, do you think I can try a puff of your cigarette?" So I let him have a little drag. When I told him about inhaling and showed him he wanted to try it. So I let him have one inhale and then I finished the cigarette. I told him it will be our little secret that he smoked this morning but I am going to fill the wife in just in case he swipes a cigarette. I'm glad I got to share that moment with him but I feel he is too young to be smoking so I don't know if this will become a Saturday morning routine for us but I am going to see if he asks next week.
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Old 12-14-2019, 11:24 AM
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If he liked it, I think you can be pretty sure that he will sneak cigs and continue the experiment by himself.
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Old 12-14-2019, 12:18 PM
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I don't see the big deal in letting your son try it. If he wants to smoke, he is going to smoke. Similar to if he wants to drink coffee or eat junk food, as much some may try to prohibit it, they still find a way, I know I did 😉. Some people like coffee, cigarettes, or junk food, and others don't and both opinions are good. Keeping secrets might be more detrimental than the actual smoking, but if you intend to let your wife in on the event then no harm done.

I hope when my son is 10 he and I will be open with each other as you two are, I think that's one of my biggest fears, that he won't want much to do with me as he gets older.
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Old 12-14-2019, 01:58 PM
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As the mom of a 10 year old myself, I'm not really sure what I'd do if he did what your son did. I don't want him to smoke, and I think 10 is too young to condone it. That being said, if he does start, I know there's nothing I can do to stop it.
My son has asked me and my mom questions about smoking, like why we do it if we know it's bad for us, and at this point I don't think he's really interested in it, but he's growing up in a family where nearly everyone smokes, so I'm expecting that he's at least going to try it at some point (which is exactly how my mom felt about me. She knew I'd try it one day).
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Old 12-14-2019, 10:35 PM
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10 is very young to start smoking and if this become a regular Saturday morning routine you know what is going to happen and by the time he is 12 years old he will be a regular smoker.
Telling your wife is a smart move.
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Old 12-14-2019, 10:52 PM
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Ten is too young to be smoking, period. You can expect that since you let him try it once, he's going to expect that you'll let him do so again. You need it nip this in the bud now ... make it clear to him that it was a one time thing just to satisfy his curiosity. Given that he's shown interest, you may want to set an age at which you'll allow him to decide for himself, when he'll be mature enough for what is an adult lifestyle choice. Personally, I think anything before high school is too young.

Last edited by masklofumanto; 12-14-2019 at 11:21 PM.
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Old 12-14-2019, 11:50 PM
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While I agree with some of the previous replies that 10 is "unacceptably" young for parental sanctioned smoking, I understand that our perspectives are shaped by our own experiences. From earlier posts, it seems that MarlboroRedGuy started smoking at 9 and did so with the assistance of an adult family member. Having started at 12 myself, (with plenty of company at the time) I've always assumed that many 12 year-olds would enjoy it just like I had. Although smoking at 12 was only marginally socially acceptable in the 80's when I started, (and much less so today) it was fairly common. So as I said, I think MarlboroRedGuy is just drawing from his own personal experience. I think we're all here to share our experiences. I'm certainly not here to judge anyone.
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Old 12-15-2019, 01:57 PM
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I don't think anyone who has commented so far has been judgmental, even MarlboroRedGuy stated in his opening post "I feel he is too young to be smoking."

His story reminds me of something similar from my childhood. At an outdoor family gathering of my maternal relatives in Irvington, New Jersey in the early 1970's -- I don't remember the exact year, but I was somewhere around 8-10 years old -- my father, out of the blue, offered me a sip of his whiskey sour. As soon as I registered the taste, I found it so revolting that I spat it out. I'm 55 now, and have not taken so much as a sip of whiskey ever since.

Last edited by masklofumanto; 12-15-2019 at 01:59 PM.
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Old 12-15-2019, 08:23 PM
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Had a discussion with the wife about what happened yesterday. She agrees he is too young to be smoking but she is handing me the reigns on this one. She said she doesnt want him smoking without me and so we both are going to keep our cigarettes out of easy to grab places. So far it's been 3 drags. I am going to wait and see what he does next weekend if he asks I will explain to him this is not going to be an all the time thing. If he doesn't ask I think I will bring it up and tell him we really need to wait a bit. I don't think a drag here and there will be bad but I don't want him smoking like I was at his age.
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Old 12-15-2019, 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by CandiR View Post
As the mom of a 10 year old myself, I'm not really sure what I'd do if he did what your son did. I don't want him to smoke, and I think 10 is too young to condone it. That being said, if he does start, I know there's nothing I can do to stop it.
My son has asked me and my mom questions about smoking, like why we do it if we know it's bad for us, and at this point I don't think he's really interested in it, but he's growing up in a family where nearly everyone smokes, so I'm expecting that he's at least going to try it at some point (which is exactly how my mom felt about me. She knew I'd try it one day).
With our oldest, we talked about smoking and mentioned the pros and cons of it all. She started at 12....that was 25 years ago. My wife gave her the first cigarette she had ever smoked until that time.

At that time in the world it was not unusual for a 12-year old to smoke....even then that was young, but no one made an issue of it. Today, that would be great cause for alarm and consequences.

My sister allowed her kids to smoke. When they were young, she and her husband would have them light cigarettes and hand them over. Taught them to inhale that first puff, and soon enough they were smoking on their own. But again, that was 30 years ago....and the kids were in their young teens when they started.

Soon enough you'll have another smoker in the house. It can be something you enjoy together....or maybe he won't smoke at all. Either way, enjoy your kids and be there for them.
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