[NLsmoker]

Originally Posted by Ryan1991 I have a twelve year old son who is now a regular smoker - I smoke openly in the house and it is just normal. He has a younger brother who is 10. Yesterday in the haze of Christmas Day he asked to have a smoke when his brother and me were smoking / his brother gave him one - he coughed his guts up, but I think it is the start of him smoking - I think 10 is too old, but as others have said, if he wants to he will find some way to do it. Boys with their mom today, but will see what tomorrow brings.

Well it most likely was the first time he smoked but you are probably right, his brother will give him another cigarette if he asks for it and another smoker joins the ranks. Yes, 10 is too young to be smoking but as you say, if he really wants to he will find a way.
What does their mum think of your 12 year old already being a smoker, just curious.

[Ryan1991]

We are divorced - she dies not like him smoking - he smiles openly with me, but she dies but allow him to smoke when he is with her - always gasping for one when he gets home. Both sins live mostly with me.

[NLsmoker]

Originally Posted by Ryan1991 We are divorced - she dies not like him smoking - he smiles openly with me, but she dies but allow him to smoke when he is with her - always gasping for one when he gets home. Both sins live mostly with me.

Ah, I already thought so as you said you were a single dad.
Poor kid and the longer he smokes the harder it will get for him not to smoke when he is with his mum, she will just have to accept that he is a smoker somewhere down the line and give him permission to smoke when he spends time with her.

[marlbororob89]

Forgive my honesty here, but, I think that the individual that posted this thinks that this was funny and cool and has most likely told all their friends that he got his 10 year son to smoke with him.

There are many people that started here at a young age, but, the world is changing, especially in the USA and with the recent law that you have to be 21 to buy cigs and vaping products, is this really a good example of being "a good parent". Is this the first step that will lead to other issues down the road, because dad thought it was cool that his 10 year son smokes- alcohol, drugs, poor grade in school

Take a look at the world around, which is not that hard, and realize that a 10 year old boy is no where near mature enough to make a decision like this to start smoking - probably also needs hep tying his shoes in the morning, but, his "cool dad" thinks it's ok.

If I made a decision like this or started earlier than I did, I can guarantee my life would be nowhere near the same as it is now.

Sorry for the post, but, being cool and being a good parent are two different perspectives. Time to step up and be the "good" parent and set a good example of right and wrong.

[MarlboroRedGuy]

Originally Posted by marlbororob89 Forgive my honesty here, but, I think that the individual that posted this thinks that this was funny and cool and has most likely told all their friends that he got his 10 year son to smoke with him. There are many people that started here at a young age, but, the world is changing, especially in the USA and with the recent law that you have to be 21 to buy cigs and vaping products, is this really a good example of being "a good parent". Is this the first step that will lead to other issues down the road, because dad thought it was cool that his 10 year son smokes- alcohol, drugs, poor grade in school Take a look at the world around, which is not that hard, and realize that a 10 year old boy is no where near mature enough to make a decision like this to start smoking - probably also needs hep tying his shoes in the morning, but, his "cool dad" thinks it's ok. If I made a decision like this or started earlier than I did, I can guarantee my life would be nowhere near the same as it is now. Sorry for the post, but, being cool and being a good parent are two different perspectives. Time to step up and be the "good" parent and set a good example of right and wrong.

Quite the contrary. I've only shared this experience with my wife and brother in law (her brother) and my dad. Obviously my wife and I discussed it and her brother was brought in because my son hangs out over there with their kids and they spend alot of time together so I wanted to make sure it wasn't happening behind my back. My dad because I know he will keep any eye out when they are together and again because my son does like to spend time with his grandpa. I'm glad I let him try it but I am not ready to have another smoker in the house but I am glad I could be there to cub his curiosity before he went and tried it with a friend. We haven't had much time alone the past two weeks but I am prepared to be the "good" dad and not the "cool" dad.

[G_H]

As our kids started smoking, we were adamant that this was not the opener to try smoking or using other things.....smoking was, and had to be, enough. Thankfully they took us at our word.

I have had other (distant) relatives and friends' kids that ended up using drugs....the outcome was not pretty......many years lost and very aggravating what they put their parents through. Two of them died at a relatively young age.

We had our home as "the smoking house," all our kids' friends were welcome to come over and if they smoked in our home, it had to be with their parents' permission. Honor system, some did in fact become smokers without their parent's involvement. But all our kids' friends were not into drugs or drinking, whether they smoked or not. The bad stuff was there in their high school, they refused to get involved with it.

[Guynextdoor]

I think when activities are made taboo, they become more appealing to younger people. As we place more age restrictions and expectations on when someone should be allowed to do something they will often become curious as to why it is prohibited. We allow our kids to drink soda spiked with caffeine and nobody bats an eye, because it's not taboo to consume such items in most social structures.

If we think of how the United States places substances in a taboo category we realize why our country has so much crime. In other cultures, having a glass or wine or beer at dinner with your parents isn't a big deal, but in the US it is considered child abuse. How many people can say their first drink was when they were 21 years or older? By making it taboo, sets an appeal to try such things. The same can be said for sex, drugs, or other delinquent behaviors. I think being open and honest with our children is really how we can prepare them to be responsible adults. I would be delusional to assume that my son would never try drugs, alcohol, or have sexual relations before he is an adult. But by being honest and open and removing the element of taboo, I know if such opportunity arises he would be educated enough to know the consequences and benefits of exploring those vices without becoming a deviant toward them or putting himself in a dangerous situation like driving drunk without knowing how alcohol would affect him.

Everyone parents differently and any parent who thinks they are doing a perfect job is the one who is probably failing the most. If we think about what our parents did versus how we would raise our children we find that parenting is a practice that is never perfect and only by exploring different ways to parent do we discover what is right for our own children.

I would rather give my son a cigarette at the age of ten than have him get into trouble by exploring those curiosities in an unsafe environment. It isn't about being a good dad or being a cool dad, it just about being a dad. If you're there for your kids when they want to learn about something, the lessons you teach them will remain with them to rely on when those taboo opportunities come about and you are not there.

[Norwegian84]

Did he lose interest in the smoking, or do you still need to figure out a way to handle his curiousity?

[MarlboroRedGuy]

Originally Posted by Norwegian84 Did he lose interest in the smoking, or do you still need to figure out a way to handle his curiousity?

He hasn't asked but my wife hasn't away from the house long. I know he is afraid his grandma would find out (I put that fear in him) and we just havent had the topic raised. I want him to wait a few more years.

[supasmoker]

I think getting him started on smoking is not a bad idea. If he is probably going to smoke at 12 then why not buy him a pack and lighter and see what happens.

I would recommend Marlboro Lights to start him off. Then gradually move him to Reds, that's where the real flavor is.

Having a young smoker in your life is a pretty great thing, this will help you two bond and give time for you two to share quality time doing what makes you happy. If it were my son id' be worried if he wasn't interested in lighting up.