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Old 08-20-2019, 10:47 PM
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Default Question about my son

Hello everyone, glad to join you on this forum!
I am a single father, I live with my 12 year old son in Vancouver, Canada.
I often smoke in front of him (I sometimes smoke indoors, like at diner, watching TV, anytime really), and he told me before that it doesn't bother him, and he even likes the smell.
However, I have noticed recently that whenever I light up, he changes his behaviour, he stares at me, and acts like he's shy or something.
He says that nothing is wrong, but there's clearly something going on with him.
How do you think I should approach this?
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Old 08-21-2019, 04:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Craig1974 View Post
Hello everyone, glad to join you on this forum!
I am a single father, I live with my 12 year old son in Vancouver, Canada.
I often smoke in front of him (I sometimes smoke indoors, like at diner, watching TV, anytime really), and he told me before that it doesn't bother him, and he even likes the smell.
However, I have noticed recently that whenever I light up, he changes his behaviour, he stares at me, and acts like he's shy or something.
He says that nothing is wrong, but there's clearly something going on with him.
How do you think I should approach this?

I think your son has been secretly smoking your cigarettes behind your back and is afraid you notice your pack has less cigarettes in it than before.
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:35 AM
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and how would you feel if you found out he has started/wants to start smoking?

I had similar experineces with my kids at that age.
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Old 08-21-2019, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by pieter View Post
I think your son has been secretly smoking your cigarettes behind your back and is afraid you notice your pack has less cigarettes in it than before.
That's what I thought, so I counted my cigarettes and none of them are disappearing.
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Old 08-21-2019, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by sara_mom1 View Post
and how would you feel if you found out he has started/wants to start smoking?

I had similar experineces with my kids at that age.
Mhmm... I think it wouldn't bother me if he wanted to start smoking. I don't know if he wants to, we never talked about that.

What did you do with your kids?
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Craig1974 View Post
Mhmm... I think it wouldn't bother me if he wanted to start smoking. I don't know if he wants to, we never talked about that.

What did you do with your kids?
What age did you start?
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Marbs4ever View Post
What age did you start?
I don't remember exactly the age, but I would say around the age of 13/14
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Craig1974 View Post
Mhmm... I think it wouldn't bother me if he wanted to start smoking. I don't know if he wants to, we never talked about that.

What did you do with your kids?
Hi Craig,

If it really doesn’t bother you if he wants to start smoking, I would have a talk with him. Let him know that if he wants to start smoking it is fine by you and let him know that you will help him on his way. If my dad had done that with me I would have been very happy.

If he really wants to start smoking and you help him start you must realize a lot of people will not understand it.

Good luck.

Ned
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Old 08-21-2019, 11:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Craig1974 View Post
I don't remember exactly the age, but I would say around the age of 13/14
Had my first right around 12. Sounds like your son is ready to join us.
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:04 AM
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The changes in behavior might just simply be the onset of puberty.

My initial reaction to your opening post was thinking that he may be starting to have a fascination with smoking. Given that you haven't noticed any of your cigarettes missing, he might not have started yet. Personally, I think 12 is a bit young, and if he is thinking about starting, my advice would be to try encouraging him to wait a little longer, at least until the start of high school. You need to speak with him and find out what's going on with him.
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