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Old 06-08-2019, 03:28 PM
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I don’t have my own kids- As a man, I can honestly say however that I would have an easier time with sons supporting and facilitating their desire to take up smoking as opposed to a daughter- I’m absolutely not meaning to be sexist in any way honestly - There have been post on this forum by fathers with sons who clearly were delighted to help their sons along on their smoking journey when they expressed a desire - Boys are expected to grow up and be conquerors- There exists a different kind of bond between fathers and sons as opposed to fathers and daughters - There’s no denying that- Fathers tend to be very protective of there daughters - With teenage boys growing into manhood fathers want them to be like them and emulate them- Fathers want to see their sons embracing life and risky behaviors with ease and masculine confidence - I think ultimately seeing that growing confidence in a son is the underlying foundation in strengthening that father son bond - But, how do you as a father either view it or think you would view it/deal with it when it came to your daughter and how do you put it in perspective? Pride towards your son vs what for your daughter?

Last edited by KWSmoker; 06-09-2019 at 08:34 AM.
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Old 06-08-2019, 05:17 PM
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I am not a Dad either.

If I had had kids in the 70s, I wouldn't have had a problem with a son starting smoking.

I am a fetisher. I have a feeling I might have been encouraging with daughters.

Today, I would be reasonably discouraging. Things have become so against smoking. It would be better if they didn't start. I would support them if they did.
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Old 06-08-2019, 08:14 PM
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I am not a father but my grandfather got me in to smoking. It was a pipe around
9 or so at first but I found my way to cigarettes. My actual dad did not smoke but eventually let it slide. If I WERE a parent Iíd let my kids smoke.
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Old 06-08-2019, 08:45 PM
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I am not a parent, but if I had a son I would certainly let him smoke. My Father let me and my 3 brothers smoke and my brothers all let there sons smoke without issue. Of course, these days it is a lot tougher for my nephews then in my day. I remember being out with my dad at 13 and us both lighting up...it was no big deal. Now of course, it is a big deal. Times change, that is for sure.

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Old 06-09-2019, 12:24 AM
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I am a father of two boys, the eldest is 12 and he has started smoking. I allow him to smoke at home, but not in public (with me anyway) I know he does it on his way to school. I started at the same age and prefer to be open and honest with him and do not want him smoking behind my back. Must admit it is nice to smoke with him, but it was his choice. I know I will get criticism for supporting him, but he has decided to do it, and would do it secretly even if I said he could not - much better to be open about it. Lots of his friends also smoke, although most of their parents either do not know or choose to ignore it. Society now is hostile to smokers, but I suppose living in a house with a smoker makes it more normal. He does have older friends who smoke and I think it was more their influence than mine that got him to start.
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Old 06-09-2019, 12:35 AM
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You have no way of knowing specifically which of your traits might influence him, even if your influence was what got him to start. You are only responsible for your actions, not your influences. I agree that the influence of friends is likely a critical factor.

Btw, I am not conceding that smoking is age-appropriate at 12.

Originally Posted by KWSmoker View Post
As a man, I can honestly say however that I would have an easier time with sons supporting and facilitating their desire to take up smoking as opposed to a daughter--I’m absolutely not meaning to be sexist in any way honestly
Recognizing that there is a difference between the genders, and that the relationship of a father with a son is different than with a daughter, is not sexist, it is realist. The attempt to "homogenize" the genders, which has become so prevalent in Western societies today, is delusional, and no good will come from it.

Last edited by masklofumanto; 06-09-2019 at 12:44 AM.
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Old 06-09-2019, 07:47 AM
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Originally Posted by masklofumanto View Post
Recognizing that there is a difference between the genders, and that the relationship of a father with a son is different than with a daughter, is not sexist, it is realist. The attempt to "homogenize" the genders, which has become so prevalent in Western societies today, is delusional, and no good will come from it.
I totally agree.

This should be called child abuse.

Boys are boys and girls are girls and we should treat them as such.

It was brave men that stormed the beaches on D-Day. Sadly today that is being called "toxic masculinity".
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Old 06-09-2019, 08:30 AM
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Mask- I agree totally that the differences between these relationships should be maintained and applauded

Bill- Thanks for chiming in and I don’t like to hear that about Reflections on D-Day - They were men doing a job that had to be done - Boys/men are wired to be conquerors - if we try to remove that from their nature they will all end up on Prozac and fail to be productive members of society in the role they are wired for- we need them to be conquerors in all areas to progress society and solve world problems in the sciences, energy and yes still military presence for the good of all- Men and women have distinct roles but that doesn’t mean there can’t be crossover with those roles, men can make great chefs and great fashion designers just let them conquer those chosen fields as men and don’t let society de/emasculate then as their doing it! The reverse is true for women- we still have cowboys today- They just drive Chevy Silverados across Texas lol! That said, I’m all for fathers facilitating the right of passage of their sons into manhood and if that is reinforced for their sons through acquiring a tobacco habit/hobby when they so desire through cigarettes/pipes/cigars/dipping then fathers should share that with them and teach how to enjoy it as it should be! My only caveat is that it should be age appropriate at 16/17 years of age minimum- BTW Bill, thank you for your service and don’t ever think anyone here is not appreciative of that!

Last edited by KWSmoker; 06-09-2019 at 08:32 AM.
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Old 06-09-2019, 08:36 AM
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And also, Happy soon to be Fathers Day to all those great fathers out there! My one regret being that I didn’t have a son or daughter of my own!
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Old 06-09-2019, 09:08 AM
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[QUOTE=KWSmoker;68745BTW Bill, thank you for your service and donít ever think anyone here is not appreciative of that![/QUOTE]

Thanks! It was an honor to wear the uniforms of my country!

My avatar is a picture of me in Iraq in 2003. I was with my MI Army National Guard Signal Company. I am straddling a FROG (Free Range Over Ground) training missile. I call it my "Major Kong" photo. That is in reference to Major Kong in the movie Doctor Strangelove.

I served in the Air Force 1971-84 and MI Army National Guard 2000-09.

My military service took me to some interesting places. That gave me many good "war stories". I had the honor of serving under some outstanding people.
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