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Faux pas, funny stories, or screw ups as a young smoker?


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Old 12-25-2018, 12:25 AM
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Default Faux pas, funny stories, or screw ups as a young smoker?

Feeling a bit nostalgic, and wondering if anyone has any funny stories about when they first started smoking...errors, mistakes, etc.

For me...I remember when I was just learning to smoke, I accidentally swallowed the smoke instead of inhaling it. I thought it was going to keel over and die, so I freaked out and ate a piece of bread......yeah, bread was going to save the day.

Others?
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Old 12-25-2018, 01:51 AM
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Originally Posted by KoolDood View Post
...I remember when I was just learning to smoke, I accidentally swallowed the smoke instead of inhaling it. I thought it was going to keel over and die, so I freaked out and ate a piece of bread......yeah, bread was going to save the day.
Been there. I hiccuped once during inhale and ended up swallowing a mouthful of smoke and air. We all know what happens when you swallow air. I belched the smoke out shortly after. Kind of cool when I think about it now.

No need for bread. Bread is for use in absorbing the acid from spicy/hot peppers.
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Old 12-25-2018, 02:56 AM
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Lighting the wrong end of the cigarette, though not as a young smoker. The first time I was 28. The second time was earlier this year, I was lighting up in the dark.

Give me a little time to think about it, if I can remember anything from when I was a young smoker.

Last edited by masklofumanto; 12-25-2018 at 02:59 AM.
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Old 12-25-2018, 05:03 AM
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I have done that several times. It doe's not look cool. Very bad. I have seen others do it.

Last edited by DancesWithWerewolves; 12-25-2018 at 05:10 AM.
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Old 12-25-2018, 01:07 PM
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Back in my heavy drinking days I lit many a smoke from the wrong end. A couple times I’m pretty sure I smoked the whole filter
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Old 12-25-2018, 05:28 PM
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Donít ya just hate it when those filters melt into a mass of sticky goo? Or so Iíve heard, it Would never happen to me!
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Old 12-25-2018, 10:46 PM
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I smoked Marb Lights as a 12 year old and once or twice lit the wrong end in the dark. Ewww. They're all white of course.

I was going on vacation with the fam, non smokers. Bag got emptied out at the airport, including my two pack supply of Camel Lights. My mom rolled her eyes and said they were hers. After that I was pretty much outed.

Always threw my secret butts in the trees behind the house, one day there was a coffee can with a note from my mom that said don't litter and pick up all your butts before the end of the day.
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Old 12-27-2018, 01:55 AM
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Man, I'm sure I have a bunch. Most of mine would probably have to do with close calls related to hiding the fact that I smoked. Off the top of my head...

As a young, beginning closet smoker, thinking it was easier to get away with smoking outside rather than inside my (smoke friendly) house. It wasn't often in those early days I'd risk sneaking a cigarette while one or both of my parents were home, but on the rare occasion I did, I'd usually just go to the backyard without saying anything, hide amongst some bushes in trees alongside a corner of the house that was completely obscured from any viewpoint from inside the house, and smoke a cigarette there. The first couple times went okay, then twice in a row at least one of my parents walked outside. They didn't/couldn't see me, so when I heard one of the back doors open, I panicked, crushed the cigarette and dashed around the opposite side of the house and back inside. After that, I'd just smoke upstairs in the guestroom since my parents hardly ever went up there at all. You'd think it'd be easier to get away with smoking outside than inside, even in a smoke-friendly house, but not in my case! Never once had a close call when I started smoking in the upstairs bedroom. I got so comfortable/confident smoking there that I started doing it way more often than was probably smart regardless of who was home at the time.

Another would have to be my early "fear" of lighters. When I was a very little kid (younger than 10) I developed a sort of fear of lighters. A really bad storm knocked out the power in practically the entire city for nearly two days. One night, we were lighting candles and my older cousin who happened to be visiting at the time (and was a smoker) was walking around our house, lighting and placing candles and for whatever reason I was following her. At some point I asked her if I could light a candle and she showed me how to use a lighter. Well, unfortunately it was one of those really cheap, flimsy lighters and by a bad stroke of luck when she handed it to me to light a candle, the flame was unexpectedly huge and shot up from the lighter and since I had it tilted at an angle, it slightly burned my thumb. It wasn't enough to make me cry or anything and my cousin just sort of laughed but it definitely startled me and made me fearful of lighters for a while. Because of that experience, years later when I would first try smoking, I'd almost always use matches. Any time I used a lighter, I'd hold it and flick it like it was gonna explode or something. Thankfully it didn't take long for me to get over that "fear," especially because matches in my house were in much shorter supply than lighters, so I didn't really have a choice if I wanted to smoke.

Sometime after I turned 16 and was smoking somewhat regularly (but still a closet smoker as far as my family was concerned), I had to go pick up my godmother from the airport. She was always an on and off again smoker (from what I had gathered from my mom -- I rarely ever saw her). It was a pretty hefty drive from my house, so I smoked a couple cigarettes on the way and made sure the windows were rolled down and the car was aired out by the time I got there so there wouldn't be a smell. I helped get her luggage in my car, drove her back to the house and we made casual small talk and caught up along the way. My mom wasn't due to be home for about an hour after we got back, so I again helped her unload her luggage and carry it to the guest room upstairs and as soon as we finished she lit up a cigarette and asked if I was doing anything that night. I told her I had plans to go hang out with some friends and that my mom would be home soon. Right as I turned to leave and head out to my car, she said, "Honey, you might want to do a better job of hiding your cigarettes." I stopped in my tracks and gave her a confused look. She laughed and pointed at my jeans and said, "that's a pack of cigarettes in your pocket." I looked down and sure enough, the outline of my pack of cigarettes inside my pocket couldn't have been more obvious. I had no idea what to say. I was never very close to my godmother since she lived on the other side of the country. She and my mom talked on the phone several times a week but she was a rare face to see for most of my life. She laughed, winked and said, "Don't worry dear, I didn't see anything." I left without saying a word like an idiot, blushing hard and after that, I learned to either keep my pack of cigarettes in a coat pocket (if it was less obvious) or at least put some things in front of the pack of cigarettes in my jean pocket (such as keys) to mask the outline of the pack itself.
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Old 12-27-2018, 04:38 AM
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I guess it never occurred to you to hide your pack inside your sock.
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Old 12-27-2018, 01:54 PM
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Originally Posted by masklofumanto View Post
I guess it never occurred to you to hide your pack inside your sock.
Haha! I did that numerous times!
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