[PallMalllover]

I was told in another thread that I should start a closet smokers thread, so here it is. First a little about me. I am mid 50's and grew up in a non-smoking family and then married a non smoker. If anyone found out I smoked, it would not be good. It all started when I was in elementary school. I think I was about 8 or 9. I went with my best friend to the drag races and sitting near us was the pretty young woman smoking. I was fascinated and spent most of the day watching her smoke. I wanted to smoke like her. That day a smoker was born. After that, I took some rather disgusting measures to smoke. Since will lived in the country, I would walk down the road looking for half smoked cigarettes and when we went to town, I would take them out of ashtrays. I would go into our barn and smoke them. I know this is gross, but I was young. Those of you who had adults you could take cigarettes from, be thankful. This continued through middle school. In high school I rarely smoked because I played 3 sports, worked, and all my friends were non-smokers. things changed when I got into college. I still lived at home, but I was able to buy my own. Let's just say that smoking became much more pleasurable. I still had to be careful. I then met my wife and things changed again. I could never do anything to disappoint her, so my opportunities dwindled. i now only smoke when either her or I are out of town. I probably smoke way to much during those times, but I am like a kid in a candy shop. It is probably a good thing that I never became a full time smoker or I would probably be a 2+ pack a day smoker. Not that I would not enjoy that, but health wise, it is probably good. This is my story. Feel free to post yours or comment on mine.

[docmarlboro]

I'm just curious but why the secrecy?

[maxi..anne]

I also am a closet smoker

[DaveM]

One thing that I noticed during years and years of working in the health field is that there are lots of closet smokers. Just a couple of months ago my doctor admitted to me that he smoked “a few” and asked me for information on stuffing his own since he was surprised at how clear my lungs were. I provided him with a sample pack of my tobacco. Last time I saw him he commented on how much better the tobacco tastes compared to store bought.

[PallMalllover]

Originally Posted by docmarlboro I'm just curious but why the secrecy?

The secrecy is because of my family and wife. I know they would be upset and I don't want to do that to them. I have been doing this for almost 50 years. I can deal with it and in a way, it gives me something to look forward to. Also, you could say it has saved me money and my health. I do wish I could be a regular smoker, but my family is the most important thing in my life.

[PallMalllover]

Originally Posted by maxi..anne I also am a closet smoker

How often do you get to sneak away to smoke?

[Wayne2045]

Originally Posted by PallMalllover The secrecy is because of my family and wife. I know they would be upset and I don't want to do that to them. I have been doing this for almost 50 years. I can deal with it and in a way, it gives me something to look forward to. Also, you could say it has saved me money and my health. I do wish I could be a regular smoker, but my family is the most important thing in my life.

I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe you've hid it for 50 years living among non-smokers without getting caught. And what do you do about the smell? If you're living with non-smokers, they will smell it. You would have to completely shower, brush teeth, and launder your clothes on days your smoking.

And where do you hide your cigarettes. Someone must've come across your pack at some point.

I would bet that people know or highly suspect you smoke, but are polite enough not to say anything.

Reminds me of a thread were some young guy was smoking naked to avoid the smoke clinging to his clothing.

[PallMalllover]

You might be right. Looking back, my parents probably knew. Little kids are bad at hiding things. As far as now, Like I said, I only smoke when I am out of town or my wife is, which amounts to once or twice a month at the most. Easy to get the clothes washed in time and I don’t smoke at home. As far as hiding the packs, I try to smoke an entire pack or two depending on the number of days. I learned that trying to hide them and smoke them later doesn’t work. They don’t taste the same after sitting around in a damp hiding spot. I know this all seems odd, but this is just how I feel and operate. Count your blessings. I wish I had the guts to come out. As far as the naked smoker guy you mentioned, he obviously didn’t live in Michigan. Too cold here to do that. I am ready for spring.

[IronicChef]

Whatever floats your boat. I was a closet smoker for a number of years for similar reasons; couldn’t bear to ‘disappoint’ family and friends, didn’t consider myself an ‘addict’ (it was just something I desired and loved doing. I still do)...

As awkward and inconceivable as it is, just come out - you don’t have to smoke any more or differently; if binging on a pack once or twice a month is your thing, great.

Smoking is nothing to be any more ashamed of than drinking coffee. Staying in the closet only makes it something you feel ashamed of. It’s far better to live your own life and stop pretending you are, or need to be, perfect. It is so self destructive to allow things that bring you pleasure to be laced with with guilt.

Just my .02$

[Beth74]

I’ve never been in the closet since I started regularly in my early 20s. I understand the pressure, though. If you come out in the US today as a prescription painkiller addict, others will place the blame on somebody else - drug companies, the doctor that prescribed you pain pills for a back ache, etc. However, since the tobacco settlements 20 years ago people only blame the smoker for continuing their habit.

I’ve got two girlfriends who will have a cigarette with me after a few glasses of wine. They are upper middle income suburbanites who have young kids and wear yoga pants. They’d be kicked out of the “club” for being a smoker. Both smoked socially in college. One worked as a bartender in grad school and was an open smoker for a while, but she “quit” 15 years ago. She says she only ever has a cigarette when she’s with me. Given how deep she inhales I’d be surprised if she weren’t sneaking cigs other times, too.

While I get together with these women every few months, I’m not a member of the same social circle. My kids are older than theirs. Plus I smoke and I’m fat. Nobody wants to see me in yoga pants