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Old 11-23-2015, 02:44 AM
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Default Telling my family

I'm a 30 yr old male and have been a daily smoker since high school. Nobody in my family knows I'm a smoker as far as I know. Today I'm going to tell my parents and twin brother. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll get a carton of smokes for Christmas.
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Old 11-23-2015, 07:07 AM
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You kept it hidden for that long? Wow. I suspect after that many years, at least some of you family has a good idea you smoke. Especially if they are non smokers
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Old 11-23-2015, 07:50 AM
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They may know but are as mum about it as I am. I own a house, have a family, own a business but can't tell my parents I smoke. The power of Catholic guilt man. Fingers crossed I don't get excommunicated.
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Old 11-23-2015, 08:31 AM
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You should have come clean with them long ago. They may, and I think justifiably, be upset at you for having hidden it from them for so long, rather than that you are a smoker (of which they have no say in the matter anyway). I also think in most cases the family's reaction isn't nearly as bad as we imagine it will be. I wish you good luck--at least now you are doing the right thing.

Blaming "Catholic guilt" is a cop-out, in my opinion.

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Old 11-23-2015, 08:59 AM
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Originally Posted by masklofumanto View Post
Blaming "Catholic guilt" is a cop-out, in my opinion.
Er, um.... Throwing it all out there, huh mask?
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Old 11-23-2015, 09:17 AM
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I realize that may have sounded harsh, but you (I mean "Ohio") are not Catholic. I grew up in a conservative Catholic family* and know about what is, and what isn't, "Catholic guilt." I will not allow that comment to go unchallenged -- it is a cop-out. If he should feel "Catholic guilt" about anything, it is for having concealed his smoking from his family for so long, rather than about his being a smoker.

I support what he plans to do today, and encourage it, because nothing damages relationships as much as dishonesty, and you cannot whitewash the fact that he has been dishonest with his family in this matter. And all over something that is the making of a "mountain out of a mole hill." He is doing the right thing now and I hope he has the fortitude to go through with it. I predict that once this is done, he will have wished that he did it a long time ago. And I do sincerely wish him well.

* Just as an example of my upbringing, not only did we attend Mass every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation, including when we were on vacation (the first thing my mother would do after checking into a hotel was to find out where the Catholic church was), but we had to be at church a half hour before Mass started because we had to say our rosary first.

Last edited by masklofumanto; 11-23-2015 at 09:31 AM.
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Old 11-23-2015, 09:51 AM
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Agreed it was a bit harsh but I see where you are coming from. I do agree I've been dishonest but it was for self preservative purposes for many reasons I intend not to go into. I've decided to stop the cycle of duplicity and dishonesty. I'm not here to offend anybody and apologize if I did.
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Old 11-23-2015, 10:28 AM
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I don't see where there was dishonesty. Not telling doesn't make you dishonest in itself.
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Old 11-23-2015, 11:01 AM
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I'm going to elaborate a bit to avoid any misconceptions on my post

I'm talking about not telling about smoking. Not anything else.

Unless you think smoking is morally wrong, then not telling people you smoke is not dishonest.
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Old 11-23-2015, 11:11 AM
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As you're a mature adult-I'd just get it out of the way and tell all who know you that you're a smoker.It's no big deal and once that's out of the way you'll find smoking openly far more enjoyable than hiding in a closet as it were.Best of luck.
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