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Old 03-04-2013, 09:40 AM
lazurm lazurm is offline
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Default Sorta got tricked into becoming addicted to smoking

My girlfriend is a heavy smoker, about one pack every day, and for a couple of years I would rag on her about it, especially since, when we started dating, she hid that fact from me. She'd tell me that I didn't understand how tough it is to quit and I'd counter that if she really wanted to quit she would. Finally, just before our summer break, she suggested that if I'd smoke like she did for the summer, at summer's end we'd both quit it'd be easier for her because she'd be quitting with me instead of for me and, if I'd do that for her, I'd understand what she's going through.

At first I was very reluctant because, frankly, the idea of smoking was very disgusting to me, but I decided to teach her a lesson while fully believing what she said had merit.

It took me almost a week to get used to inhaling (she insisted I inhale because otherwise "it wouldn't work"). It took another 6 weeks to smoke as much as she did. In fact, when we were together she'd usually light two, one for each of us.

By the time school started again I reminded her of her promise and she agreed to stop with me. What was interesting to me at the time was how I learned to associate certain situations with smoking, since she would light up when, for instance, we'd get into the car to go somewhere, or right after leaving a movie theater, or while talking on the phone, etc. I was amazed how, even after only 2 months, I would get the same impulse during those times but, because of our agreement and my feelings about smoking and its affects on long term health, I wouldn't give into them.

The problem started when she said that giving up smoking doesn't have to be sudden. So she said it'd be better if we'd "cut back for awhile and then eventually stop completely". Now the new "rule" was to "cut back together" which meant I'd still keep smoking with her. This meant smoking together, instead of all day. So we'd smoke together, typically, as soon as we woke up, after each meal, one when arriving home and one before going to sleep. Weeks passed by and I asked her when we'd start cutting down. She'd say soon and I didn't push it because, I thought, it was working and was better than it originally was. I think a good part of the reason I didn't fight her on this was because, frankly, at this point, I actually enjoyed smoking, though I didn't realize this in a solidly conscious way.

I never admitted to her that those more occasional cigarettes were becoming very important to me. It was even hard to admit this fact to myself, but when we'd light up together I'd get an almost instant feeling of relief. It's hard to describe but it felt similar to drinking a cold glass of water after being very thirsty for too long.

When she started saying let's just have another cigarette together (outside the "normal" routine) because: it'd be nice to share one out on the patio together now, or because it makes her feel closer to me, or any other of the reasons I'd give in. I now realize that I started rationalizing it all using "smoker's logic" like one wouldn't hurt, we've cut down together and that's good, etc.

Before long, probably about another 4 months or so, we were up to her previous, starting, level. It happened so slowly and I see that my mind was playing all sorts of tricks on me. I was even forced to admit my smoking to friends and family because, at that level, it's impossible to hide it and, believe me, that was very hard to do. I didn't even really see how it happened but it did. She was right and I learned a hard lesson about addiction.

Now I realize I'm a smoker just like my girlfriend. I hate when she now says "see what I mean?" "see, it's hard to quit, now you know...right?!" Sometimes said with a sly grin! Whenever I try to quit I get very powerful urges (thirst) and can't stop thinking about smoking and it doesn't help that she smokes and, worse, almost encourages me since she likes when we smoke together. I think she may even get a special thrill out of it since I was such a hard line anti-smoker and now am in the same situation as she is. I still find this all so hard to believe, but I have to admit she was right and I was wrong. It isn't easy to quit. And I was wrong about how much she smoked. I now smoke OVER a pack every day, sometimes close to two packs (I still find it hard to admit this) and that's as much as she smokes too, now that I know for sure.

Don't ever start. I learned my lesson the hard way.

Originally Posted by CamelMan324 View Post
Hey guys, I was just wondering what made you guys decide to start smoking in the first place? I guess my reason I started was mainly because of my folks at home, my parents were smokers and alot of people in my family smoked, so I guess I just kind of got sucked in by my friends and family
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